THINGS I SAW THAT BROUGHT ME DOWN TO TEARS (2)

BY EROMONSELE MITCHELL

Daily, we leave our homes sometimes on an empty-stomach or stomach so full it bulges. With the mirror, we want to be sure we have just the right looks for every occasion. We try to bring our lifestyles into the way of life. Often times, we also care how others see us on the inside - our characters. This is only natural. But a lot of people are out there who don't even seem to care about how they look in the mirror and how they look in your eyes. Looks or character is luxury. All they care about is how they would see another sunrise. And in their prayers, they only remember those hands that care to throw a piece of bread at them.

On the 10th day in the month of March, I was all dressed up in a red dress you will find pretty - my mirror had assured me. In Port Harcourt where MEN are made of money, and ladies run after fashion even on high heels through life's potholes, I just had to look hot and beautiful. *Winks*

That day, I was heading to an adult education centre where I teach part-time during most of my holidays. As you must have guessed, the hold-up was terrible, particularly those lung-destroying fumes from cars and buses! I was on queue for the next bus. The great looker that I've always been, I just stood there feeding my wide eyes. A lot had changed from the last time I came home. There were now so many shops, and platforms already occupied by all sort of traders. It was when I turned my neck to look at the left side for some more sights and sounds of the city that my eyes fell on one of the most pitiable sight I had ever seen.

Picture this: a woman was sitting on the walkway with a child of about 3 years old. She seemed insane, but she was sane. Even though she spread her sore-clustered legs widely apart as though she were mad, and her clothes were tattered almost to shreds, this was a sane woman who didn't just care about the mirror nor the staring eyes of passing shoes and high heels. She was looking all brown with dust on her lashes and long but unkempt and now thick hair. Judging from the dimples that adorn her dust-powdered face, she was once a beautiful woman. The child in her arms was near naked. Dirty and ragged like the woman on whose bosom he had grown up to love, the child clung to her. She also pulled him to herself as the child was clinging on to her breast. Motherly love never ceases, even in the gutter of life.

But I wondered how a child of about three years old could still be breast feeding. Absurd, thought to myself. But again, since there was no food a mother could feed her hungry child with, would she not offer her own breasts to her child? With feelings of pity and love for humanity, I found the scene so inspiring. It was profound for me. Just as I was thinking about how many children out there in the midst of plenty but experiencing the poverty of love would be wishing such love were around them, something shocking happened. The woman had suddenly pushed the child away from herself in a violent way. The child with shock in his innocent eyes landed with a thud on the hard-tarred ground. This fall had pulled everyone's attention towards the woman. Many rained curses on her. Others hurled insults at her, and yet some just shook their heads with pity for the child. I was too shocked to open my lips. A mist of tears settled in my eyes.

NOW TELL ME, IS THIS WOMAN A BAD MOTHER/PERSON OR NOT?

Many would say she is bad, but who really knows what unbearable conditions the woman herself must have been through? No one really knows if the woman had even eaten anything. No one knows the thoughts that were running through her head. Is the thought of being seen as a mad woman alone not devastating enough? What about the pains she must have been feeling under the heat of the burning sun? What about the shadows of her past or the burden of tomorrow's uncertainties?

Dear friends I couldn't help but lament: "Life, why?".

The Lesson: There are times that are so hard and unbearable that all the burdens of your fears and worries make you just want to throw even the things you love and cherish so much to the hard-tarred ground of life. Whenever you find yourself in such situation, always remember that there are people in worst situations, and try to pull yourself together. Who says you can't get through it?

THINGS I SAW THAT BROUGHT ME DOWN TO TEARS

This is a true life story that touches the heart by a friend MITCHELL EROMOSELE
"Many of us don't feel the need to get sober and emotional concerning things and events that we see everyday. But for me, I'm not immune to such feelings. 

On the 7th day in the month of March, the fiery heat of the sun was burning hard from above on the already hot heads of the many persons at the Texaco filling station. The fuel crisis in Port Harcourt had become so unbearable that week. This was why once the news went round that there was fuel at the Texaco filling station, people turned out in great numbers armed with their cars and gallons ready to finally buy some litres. Everyone just needed to badly get back to their daily businesses. Since the fuel scarcity had started, lives had been literally out of fuel.

At the station, there were groups of security men who were expected to ensure not only peace and order, but sanity. Yes, the filling station was virtually a marketplace in a crisis situation. You could not easily tell the buyer from the seller. So it was not surprising to see the security men wiping sweats off their faces as they tried to ensure everyone was 'on queue'. As more people continued to push and pull for positions, you could tell from the faces of the mobile policemen that they were not really 'on top of the situation'. Noise and rowdiness rent the air.

But suddenly, silence fell on the arena. Still, but not quiet calm. It was too sudden, sinister and strange, like the silence of the cemetery...like a ghost had just joined us. But when his boots crunched the hard ground deprived of all human feeling, we turned our already sprained necks to find him armed to his teeth. He was heavily-armed, gadgets hanging over his broad and seemingly endless camouflage chest. AK47 on his left hand, and a long wire whip with scattered edges laced with thorns like iron on his left hand, you would think he was one of the dragons in the Book of Revelations.

Before we could say Goodluck Jonathan, the little sanity that had been maintained was lost. Everywhere turned into pandemonium - women and children, men and youths all running here and there to escape the whips that were flying without any care for the civilians. Gallons flew here and there, along with footwears chasing after their owners in the crowd. The 'ghost' administered his duties with no mercy. He kept yelling: "Bloody civilian."

His mission could hardly be mistaken. It was to 'clear the area' and any 'bloody civilian' that made his mission impossible along with it. It was that moment a pregnant woman staggered around him. She begged him to spare her some fuel, but the uniformed man pushed her so hard that she fell heavily to the ground. She cried out in pains just as he yelled at her. Blood-shot eyes. Skin darker than the hope we now had in getting fuel any soon.

Just while the crowd's eyes were still on the pregnant woman, a young woman who clearly had not learnt any lesson from the scene cat-walked unto the stage. She came shaking her ass and chewing gum as if hoping to get the army man's attention:

"Oga, I wan buy fuel for my motor. My motor don break down for road". She said, just as she was ensuring her body was also speaking as she shook her curves and contours in a 'PH babe' fashion.

"So!, what do you want me to do? Should I go and carry the car on my head? answered the hefty soldier with a husk voice and a deep Ibadan accent, "C'mon get out of my sight!" he yelled. As the lady turned to leave reluctantly, the next thing that followed was the familiar and fear sound of "WAI!" - a lashing whip right on the better part of the lady's buttocks. She screamed and cried, just as she ran for her life! Perhaps, at the barracks the sound of "WAI" must be thought to be the same with the brutal acronym of War Against Indiscipline most feared during the military era.

But one surprising thing happened later on. I must have been too engrossed with chatting with my friends online on my Android, when I didn't notice that the soldier was close to me. It happened so suddenly. He knocked me down with a nudge.His hands were in the air about to whip me when I noticed that our one-man-squad soldier had broken into tears: huge balls of tears falling from his eyes.

NOW TELL ME, DOES A SOLDIER HAVE A HEART OR NOT? In as much as he appeared strong-hearted and stoned-faced, he has his own feeling buried under his khaki uniform. No one can ever know how painful the tears of a soldier are.

BEWARE OF LOTS!

O

nce upon a time! A man was called out of his predicaments to go into a promise land. He was asked to leave his father’s house and his kindred. With prompt obedience, he left his father’s house but with a family member. This was not the command. The command was “leave your father’s house totally and your family members”. When he took this his family member along with him he met with disaster. I am talking of Abraham and Lot.

A similar case happened to some travellers when they allowed unwanted person in their ship. Jonah was not supposed to be in the ship but the travellers allowed him in and they met with disaster. They lost all their belongings.

Delayed obedience is as good as disobedience. In the journey of life, there are things you must not allow to journey with you. Some destinies are slow because of the caliber of people they allow to journey with them. You must be selective in your choice of co-travellers. The company you keep determines what accompanies you. Birds of a feather, they say, flocks together. Your destiny is too precious to allow Lots and Jonahs to journey with. If you allow them in your …ships they will crash it. Relationships are either adding to you or subtracting from you. There is no neutral relationship. It is wisdom to quit the relationships that are weighing you down or not adding anything to you.

My mentor and my spiritual father, Pastor Pius Oluyemi, use to say that at the end of each year, he list those people that were his friends for the year and look at those who added to his life spiritually and those who did not add to him. Those that did not add to him are sent a ready-made text message, telling them that the friendship is over. That doesn’t mean he won’t greet them when he sees them but the visiting and long chats are over. A successful man doesn’t surround himself with thousand friends. Just one quality friend does better than thousands of Lots and Jonahs.

Who are you journeying with? Who is your friend? Friendship is not by force but by choice. Anyone who doesn’t support your vision is not worth walking with. The people you keep around you determine the way you will be treated in the society. If your friend is a thief people will see you as a thief. If your friend is a prostitute/womanizer people will see you as such. The way your friend dresses is the way you will be addressed. Show me your friend and I will tell you your future.

I am not saying you should fight people off! I am saying you should mind the people you call your friends. Your friends either push you to succeed or to fail. Your friends either make you or mar you. Like begets like.

I don’t have too many friends but I have just a few QUALITY FRIENDS! I relate with everybody quite well but the word “FRIEND” is a very special word to me. Choose your friends wisely.  

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE!

H

appiness is a state of well-being characterized by a deep and intense joy. Being happy is a choice. There are so many circumstances surrounding us that we cannot control but we can control our responses to them. Our response to these circumstances determine whether for us to be happy or not. From studies, ten percent of our mood is controlled by the circumstances around us while ninety percent is controlled by our responses to them. So you see? You can decide to be happy or sad base on how you respond to the situations around you

HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?

For you to be happy all day long, you need to start it from the very moment you open your eyes in bed every morning. The Bible says in Psalm 30:5 that “…joy comes in the morning”. What is your attitude when you wake up in the morning? Do you mourn over the day’s work and feel depressed? There is joy knocking on your door every morning waiting to come embrace you but when you refuse to open up to her the devil brings words of discouragement, telling you how bad the day would go. Have you ever wonder why the thoughts from previous day’s non-achievements, disappointments and guilt fill your heart when you wake up every morning? It is because you did not allow joy in. There is no vacuum in nature. If you refuse joy then sorrow will take over. Before you set out for the day, ask yourself the question “do I want to be happy today or sad?”. Your response to the question will determine how your day will go.

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES

Joel Osteen, in his book Everyday A Friday says “we have what we need to be happy; we just don’t have the right perspective”. That thing you are complaining about is the reason you should be happy. Take for instance, a man who is always complaining of eating rice daily. When God takes away the rice and he has nothing to eat, he will beg to have the rice back and will be happy having it back. Some complain of their jobs, children, spouses, etc. These are the more reason they should be happy. When you are caught up in the traffic is the more reason you should be happy because you have a car. You should be happy when you are caught up in a long queue because you can stand. You should be happy when you are hungry because it shows you are normal and you have appetite.

YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF HAPPINESS

If you decide to be unhappy, it doesn't change anything. In short, the world is not moved. It has effect on only you. You must learn not to sell your joy to critics. Don’t let the action of other people to determine your happiness. When you allow it, it simply means they are in charge of your life. They control you and decide how you react. Smile! It doesn't cost anything. I read a story of two bricklayers who were in this profession for thirty years. One day, a man walked up to the first bricklayer and asked what he was doing. He simply responded “well, we are just here laying blocks. This is what we've been doing for thirty years and it’s so boring laying one block on another.”  The man went up to the second bricklayer and asked what he was doing. With joy, he replied “we are building a skyscraper that will be here for many generations. This is where youths across the nations will come for seminars and the likes. I’m so happy being a part of this project.” These two men were doing the same job but one was happy doing it while the other was grumbling. If you decide to be happy at what you are doing, things will change for the better. Joseph, even in the prison, was happy and was doing what he knows how to do best. He eventually became the prime minister from the prison. Your perspective of happiness really can change things for the better. Paul and Silas in the prison were happy even in chains. They gave praise to God and their bounds were loosed. They were not complaining. The three Hebrew men were not complaining even in the face of the fairy furnace.

IF THE BIRDS COULD BE HAPPY

Have you ever heard the birds sing? Do you wonder if they had problems? Are they moved with what is happening in the economy? The birds doesn’t care about what is happening because they know God will provide their needs. If the birds could understand this how much more you? As noted earlier, we cannot control circumstances around us but we can control the way we respond to them.  James 1:2 says we should count it all joy when we fall into divers temptations. When we are faced with trials and temptation we should count it all joy because God will make a way of escape. I Corinthians 10:13. Victor Adeyemi once said “we should not be thermometer in nature, we should be thermostat”. Thermometer is regulated by the environment. If the temperature is hot, it will read high, but when the temperature reduces, it will also reduce. Thermostat, on the other hand, determines how the environment will operate. It controls the environment in which it is found. We should therefore, not allow the situation of the economy to determine our mood.

Happiness is a choice. Being happy is your strength. Choose therefore to be happy.