THINGS I SAW THAT BROUGHT ME DOWN TO TEARS (2)

BY EROMONSELE MITCHELL

Daily, we leave our homes sometimes on an empty-stomach or stomach so full it bulges. With the mirror, we want to be sure we have just the right looks for every occasion. We try to bring our lifestyles into the way of life. Often times, we also care how others see us on the inside - our characters. This is only natural. But a lot of people are out there who don't even seem to care about how they look in the mirror and how they look in your eyes. Looks or character is luxury. All they care about is how they would see another sunrise. And in their prayers, they only remember those hands that care to throw a piece of bread at them.

On the 10th day in the month of March, I was all dressed up in a red dress you will find pretty - my mirror had assured me. In Port Harcourt where MEN are made of money, and ladies run after fashion even on high heels through life's potholes, I just had to look hot and beautiful. *Winks*

That day, I was heading to an adult education centre where I teach part-time during most of my holidays. As you must have guessed, the hold-up was terrible, particularly those lung-destroying fumes from cars and buses! I was on queue for the next bus. The great looker that I've always been, I just stood there feeding my wide eyes. A lot had changed from the last time I came home. There were now so many shops, and platforms already occupied by all sort of traders. It was when I turned my neck to look at the left side for some more sights and sounds of the city that my eyes fell on one of the most pitiable sight I had ever seen.

Picture this: a woman was sitting on the walkway with a child of about 3 years old. She seemed insane, but she was sane. Even though she spread her sore-clustered legs widely apart as though she were mad, and her clothes were tattered almost to shreds, this was a sane woman who didn't just care about the mirror nor the staring eyes of passing shoes and high heels. She was looking all brown with dust on her lashes and long but unkempt and now thick hair. Judging from the dimples that adorn her dust-powdered face, she was once a beautiful woman. The child in her arms was near naked. Dirty and ragged like the woman on whose bosom he had grown up to love, the child clung to her. She also pulled him to herself as the child was clinging on to her breast. Motherly love never ceases, even in the gutter of life.

But I wondered how a child of about three years old could still be breast feeding. Absurd, thought to myself. But again, since there was no food a mother could feed her hungry child with, would she not offer her own breasts to her child? With feelings of pity and love for humanity, I found the scene so inspiring. It was profound for me. Just as I was thinking about how many children out there in the midst of plenty but experiencing the poverty of love would be wishing such love were around them, something shocking happened. The woman had suddenly pushed the child away from herself in a violent way. The child with shock in his innocent eyes landed with a thud on the hard-tarred ground. This fall had pulled everyone's attention towards the woman. Many rained curses on her. Others hurled insults at her, and yet some just shook their heads with pity for the child. I was too shocked to open my lips. A mist of tears settled in my eyes.

NOW TELL ME, IS THIS WOMAN A BAD MOTHER/PERSON OR NOT?

Many would say she is bad, but who really knows what unbearable conditions the woman herself must have been through? No one really knows if the woman had even eaten anything. No one knows the thoughts that were running through her head. Is the thought of being seen as a mad woman alone not devastating enough? What about the pains she must have been feeling under the heat of the burning sun? What about the shadows of her past or the burden of tomorrow's uncertainties?

Dear friends I couldn't help but lament: "Life, why?".

The Lesson: There are times that are so hard and unbearable that all the burdens of your fears and worries make you just want to throw even the things you love and cherish so much to the hard-tarred ground of life. Whenever you find yourself in such situation, always remember that there are people in worst situations, and try to pull yourself together. Who says you can't get through it?