Obadoh Happiness' Blog: IS THIS LOVE I AM FEELING?

Obadoh Happiness' Blog: IS THIS LOVE I AM FEELING?

IS THIS LOVE I AM FEELING?

  

In 2004, a friend and I went on a visit to a brother who works at Lagos Airport Hotel, Ikeja. After giving us a big treat, we went looking around and finally, took us to the pool to swim. The only pool I had ever swum before this time was one river in my village (I was only 4 years in Lagos then). Happily, we pulled off and straight to the pool. My friend doesn’t know how to swim either so we remained at a spot in the pool. I saw little kids performing all kinds of acrobatics in the water so I decided to feel among. My friend joined me. I was ‘walking’ in the pool while my friend was following me behind. We got into a deeper part and then the trouble began. I could not turn back ‘cos the water was ‘heavier’ than me. Thank God my friend followed me (two amateurs). He had to be pushing me from behind so both of us could come out. We finally came out and I ran out of the water.

I have said this over time and will still say it until the whole world hears it. “Before you find a woman or before a man finds you, you must find yourself first.” Mind my use of words. I said “Woman” or “man” NOT “boy” or ”girl”. Relationships are not meant for boys and girls but for men and women. It is not until you turn 30 or 40 before you are referred to as a man or woman. Age is not a determinant factor of maturity. As a matter of fact, an 18 year old girl can be more matured than a ‘girl’ of 40 years old.

Relationship is not what you jump into like a swimming pool. As a matter of fact, if you don’t know the depth of the pool before jumping into it you might get drowned. With the little years I have spent on this earth, I have had some experiences in relationships and found out some mistakes potential men and women make.

Frankly speaking, any relationship that gives you sleepless nights, makes you nervous or gets you ‘crazy’ is an infatuation. You don’t see a man today and ‘fall’ in love the next day. They call it ‘Love-at-first-sight’. You don’t fall in love, you grow in love instead. Relationships are to build you not to mar you. Any relationship that is not adding to you is definitely subtracting from you. If your relationship is in the secret then you are heading for the deeper part of the pool that might get you drowned. From my story above, put me in place of the one in relationship, the pool as the relationship and my friend as the counselor. My counselor was with me all through the period of the relationship (though an amateur). When things were getting out of hands he had to pull me out. If I had gotten a professional swimmer (relationship expert/guardian) to coach me from the beginning of my entry into the pool (relationship) he would have advised me on what to do so I don’t get drowned.

My friend, before God gave Adam a woman, He gave him a work. If you are yet to discover yourself then you don’t need a man/woman. It is your destination that determines who you want to journey with. You can’t travel direction X with someone that is going towards direction Y. That will be a disaster.

Don’t marry beauty/riches. Marry vision and character. Every woman is beautiful. She only needs the proper grooming to bring out the queen in her. Beauty will fade, riches will finish, only character will remain.

Watch out for more!

Happiness

Happiness is the real beauty...

NOBODY KNOWS!

When people see me, they wouldn't know I have drank water from a stream using cocoa and cocoyam leaf. Have you done that before? I bet you haven't. When some see me reading they wouldn't know my primary school foundation was a public L-shaped village school, where the only thing we do from 9am to 1pm was to peel 'egusi' for 'teacher' and most time sell 'pufpuf' from primary 1A to primary 6D in the L-shaped primary school and at the end of the day I write a very big O on my slate with green colored chalk and the teacher will mark it with red colored chalk, signing 'very good' and every Friday we go to the school garden to clear the farm. We would rub charcoal on our faces to scare the 'gbomo gbomo' on the bush part because we hear a lot of kidnapped children. We even heard 'Old Soldier', the most wicked teacher we had then who do take us to the garden, was kidnapped one day but he begged the kidnappers to release him that he would bring 20 students for them. Pupils with rumour shaaaa. Most of the times we would go to 'teacher's house' at the camp to work for them and they would give us 'ice cream' and cold water. The only book I read then was 'Macmillan Primary English book 6'. We called it 'reader' and it was mostly used in playing picture games. You wouldn't understand what I'm saying if you've not done it before. I remember the day we were to write common entrance exam in that village school; my mom cooked the best of food as if I was going for a function. She packaged it well in a warmer (though we were not that rich but she did her best). When I got to school that morning it was as if we were doing food competition. Different kinds of food all because we were sitting for common entrance. My white shirt and blue trouser was well washed and ironed with a charcoal iron by my elder sister. That was the first time I wore 'shoe' in my life. The shoe was for my elder brother who has very long feet and my feet were short so i had to pad it with a lot of clothes to make them fit. The name of that school is Eramhe Primary School, Afokpella, Okpella, in Edo state. Try to find that out. Nobody knows I have trekked over 50km going to farm as at when i was 7yrs old. Wow... have you done that before? As at age 10 I already own a plot of land where I do my farming activities. (I was a bit lazy then though). Nobody knows I've gone three days without food, not for fasting but because no food. Nobody knows the history of education, nobody knows how I managed to pass exams, nobody knows how I stopped going to school for years because there was no school fee. I was termed "onigbese" meaning debtor in secondary school. NOBODY KNOWS but today the story has changed. Nobody knows that my first encounter with a computer was in 2006. That was the first time in my life I ever touched a mouse. Thanks to ACTIVE FINGERS GLOBAL NETWORK in collaboration with PURE COMPUTER INSTITUTE who gave me scholarship to study desktop publishing. I worked for it anyway. I came 1st in the scholarship exam. I am not planning to live a small life. So when you see me living BIG tomorrow don't get jealous. Just know that I have been through a lot of hard times. If you want to know me get close and ask questions. Don't judge from afar.

Do not prescribe drugs to the disease you know nothing about!

So many atimes we beat about the bush trying to figure out the solution to certain issues of life. Most people get frustrated and throw in the towel along the line. The issue with most of us is that we are so impatient. All we want is to find solutions without really knowing the cause of the problem.

Get to know the cause of a problem before finding solution to it. Finding solution to the problem you did not know the source is like prescribing drugs to the disease you know nothing about.

If you want to find a lasting solution, do not tackle the issue; tackle the source and cause of the problem. For instance, you can't find the solution to Examination malpractice without knowing the cause of it. One of the major cause of Examination malpractice is "Fear of Failure". The person finding such solutions must help the student to overcome fear and encourage him/her to study. Arresting such student will not find the solution. It will only create an uproar. That is why I said "you cannot prescribe drug for the disease you know nothing about. The drug for Examination Malpractice disease is not Sanction but Orientation. Make the student understand what he needs to know.

Conclusively, get to know the cause of a problem before finding solution to it.

CHANGE

Change is very difficult but IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE!. Determine to make a difference wherever you are and whatever you do. It pays to be Different. If you decide to follow the world who will then follow you? Make a Difference today.

PRIORITY OF CHARACTER IN LEADERSHIP

INTRODUCTION:

Leadership determines everything. Jesus said “…If the blind leads the blind…” Jesus believes that a leader can be blind. Because somebody is in leadership does not mean they can see. If the blind leads the blind they both fall into the ditch. So go the leader so go the organization. An organization can never rise above its leader. If you want to improve an organization, improve the leader. When the leader grows, the organization is growing. When a leader expands his knowledge base, the organization has expanded its knowledgebase. When a leader reads a book, the organization has benefited from its content. If a leader is blind, ignorant, in the dark, the organization is ignorant. Reading this is not just for your benefit but for your entire ministry and wherever you may find yourself. You cannot give what you don’t have. You can only lead people as far as you’ve gone yourself. You must constantly explore new territory, new information, and new experiences. You cannot lead from behind.

The word “Leadership” implies going to the place you’ve never been. You as a leader, your job is to move the people from where they are to where you have been. Where have you been? VISION. That is why leadership is impossible without a vision. You cannot exist as a leader without a vision. Vision qualifies you for leadership.  It makes your leading legitimate. It is illegal to lead people to no-where. You must have a clear vision. So clear to be documented on the paper and communicated to the people which is the new territory you have been and is taking the people. Managers maintain but leaders innovate. Leaders determine everything. You are exactly where someone led you. Everybody is. The leaders you follow will determine your destination. That is why it is important to associate yourself and to submit yourself to leadership that is progressive, innovative, CHALLENGING AND BREAKING NEW TERRITORY.

What is leadership?

“Leadership is the capacity to influence others through inspiration, generated by a passion, motivated by a vision, produced by a conviction, birth by a purpose.”  The definition above took Myles twenty eight (28) years to discover. The definition is long and comprehensive. It contains everything that makes you a leader. If you want to become an effective leader, take the definition from bottom to top. “Birth by a purpose, produced by a conviction, motivated by a purpose, generated by a passion”.

Purpose is the reason you were born. You must discover your reason for being born. You must have an encounter with God to discover this. Purpose produces a Conviction. A conviction is a belief that you were born to do something. Leaders believe in their own conviction. Their conviction becomes their life. You will never become a great leader until you discover a conviction that is important than life. A conviction produces a passion. Passion is a product of conviction and purpose. Passion is a desire that is stronger than opposition and death. Without passion, you will never be an effective leader. Passion is a desire that makes an alarm clock unnecessary. A person with passion doesn’t need an alarm clock to wake him up in the morning, passion does that. A true leader has passion. Passion is not finding something to live for but finding something to die for. Have you find something to die for? Jesus said if you want to make a difference in life, do not seek to save your life. Seek to lose it and you will gain it on planet earth. Passion produces Inspiration. This is very important. Most of the people we call leaders are not leaders but professional manipulators. True leaders do not manipulate. They inspire. If you can inspire people, they will submit their energies to your dream. If you can inspire people, they will submit their gifts to your vision. If you can inspire people, they will commit their time to your dream without waiting for money. The key to leadership is inspiration. If you cannot inspire, you will manipulate and the moment you start to manipulate, you cease to be a leader. That’s why true leaders have no gimmicks. They inspire.

HOW DO YOU INSPIRE PEOPLE?

It is very simple but yet important. It is PASSION. People are inspired by your willingness to die for a dream. If you are not willing to die for your ministry people will not be inspired by you. Nelson Mandela inspires all of us. He had no degree in leadership course. He found something to die for. Mother Teresa was four feet high, 98 pounds and she spoke to United Nations. She inspires the world even beyond her death. Why? Passion! She found something to die for. True leaders never seek followers. They are too busy following purpose. Followers seek true leaders. Find something to die for.  Where there is no purpose, there is no passion, where there is no passion, there is no inspiration. Where there is no inspiration, there is manipulation. When you inspire people, they allow you to influence them. True leaders do not manipulate people, they inspire them. True leaders are willing to go alone! True leaders are still leaders even when no one follows them because they found something more important than people. They found an assignment from God. Jesus asked His disciples when they suddenly grew from 12 to 70 “Why do you follow me?”.  You can only ask that question when you are secured.  There are people who are with you but not for you. They come for your gift and not for you. Jesus said to the 70 if you want to be a part of my company, you must eat my flesh and drink my blood. What does He mean? Don’t follow me for fish and bread; follow me for my own self. Pursue the dream I am carrying. A leader must be willing to go alone. If you need people to validate your assignment, you are not a true leader. People should come after you because God validated your assignment. Have you found something that you are willing to do for even when no one follows? Every true Vision only has one believer at first. God will never show you what is not possible. People may come, people may go, but you should stay.

A visionary must stay. What makes him stay? He has developed character. The number one priority of any leader is not power, gifting, talent, skill, techniques, education, influence, or anointing. The number one ingredient is Character. The number one disgrace in the body of Christ the world over is lack of character.

Character means:

1.      Fixed

2.      Predictable

3.      Statue

The alphabets are called characters because they never change. The numbers are called characters because they never change. The world need you to be leaders with character; fixed, predictable and statue.

Your character is developed in your most challenges, tests, and difficulties and you feel pieces falling off. They are not destroying you, they are making you.

Great leaders are not gifts; great leaders are results. Can you be trusted in the dark? Character! Character is what you will do when no one watches. If you are going to become a leader sitting on a throne and influencing people, you must develop character.