IS THIS LOVE I AM FEELING?

  

In 2004, a friend and I went on a visit to a brother who works at Lagos Airport Hotel, Ikeja. After giving us a big treat, we went looking around and finally, took us to the pool to swim. The only pool I had ever swum before this time was one river in my village (I was only 4 years in Lagos then). Happily, we pulled off and straight to the pool. My friend doesn’t know how to swim either so we remained at a spot in the pool. I saw little kids performing all kinds of acrobatics in the water so I decided to feel among. My friend joined me. I was ‘walking’ in the pool while my friend was following me behind. We got into a deeper part and then the trouble began. I could not turn back ‘cos the water was ‘heavier’ than me. Thank God my friend followed me (two amateurs). He had to be pushing me from behind so both of us could come out. We finally came out and I ran out of the water.

I have said this over time and will still say it until the whole world hears it. “Before you find a woman or before a man finds you, you must find yourself first.” Mind my use of words. I said “Woman” or “man” NOT “boy” or ”girl”. Relationships are not meant for boys and girls but for men and women. It is not until you turn 30 or 40 before you are referred to as a man or woman. Age is not a determinant factor of maturity. As a matter of fact, an 18 year old girl can be more matured than a ‘girl’ of 40 years old.

Relationship is not what you jump into like a swimming pool. As a matter of fact, if you don’t know the depth of the pool before jumping into it you might get drowned. With the little years I have spent on this earth, I have had some experiences in relationships and found out some mistakes potential men and women make.

Frankly speaking, any relationship that gives you sleepless nights, makes you nervous or gets you ‘crazy’ is an infatuation. You don’t see a man today and ‘fall’ in love the next day. They call it ‘Love-at-first-sight’. You don’t fall in love, you grow in love instead. Relationships are to build you not to mar you. Any relationship that is not adding to you is definitely subtracting from you. If your relationship is in the secret then you are heading for the deeper part of the pool that might get you drowned. From my story above, put me in place of the one in relationship, the pool as the relationship and my friend as the counselor. My counselor was with me all through the period of the relationship (though an amateur). When things were getting out of hands he had to pull me out. If I had gotten a professional swimmer (relationship expert/guardian) to coach me from the beginning of my entry into the pool (relationship) he would have advised me on what to do so I don’t get drowned.

My friend, before God gave Adam a woman, He gave him a work. If you are yet to discover yourself then you don’t need a man/woman. It is your destination that determines who you want to journey with. You can’t travel direction X with someone that is going towards direction Y. That will be a disaster.

Don’t marry beauty/riches. Marry vision and character. Every woman is beautiful. She only needs the proper grooming to bring out the queen in her. Beauty will fade, riches will finish, only character will remain.

Watch out for more!